A Laugh for the Weekend!

And now for the 3rd installment of the Jokes posts! (you aren't getting tired of these are you?)

Joke 1:

A blond's 1st nine months of the year:

January: Returned scarf to store. It was too smallFebruary: Got stuck on an escelator for 2 hours. Power went out.March: Complained to the candy company for falsely maketing their candy. Instead of getting M&M's I got W&W'sApril: Tried to patent my idea for ejector seats in helicopters. (it didn't work out.)May: Took my computer to get fixed. It kept saying I had mail but the mailbox was EMPTY!June: Had to take my cat to the vet. He got his head stuck in a glass jar and I used the hammer to get him out.July: Failed my breast stroke in swimming class. Found out later that the rest of the students cheating and used their arms.August: Had to take my child to the ER. She ate ants and I fed her bug killerSeptember: Finished my puzzle in 6 months! (the box said 2 to 4 years)

Joke 2:
What do you get when you cross Lassie with a pit bull?


A dog that chews your legs off and then runs for help.